we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
