Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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