She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
