is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
