You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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