Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
