Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
