I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
