I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
