I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
