did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
