I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
