just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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