mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
is it fun? or sober?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
