I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
