i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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