omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Two words: nipple clamps
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