honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
