my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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