You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
