Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
