the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
