We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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