I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
