he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
did i walk over a car last night?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
