whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
