I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
