I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
