when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
