meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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