You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
