he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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