He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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