the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
