I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
