I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
