How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
