look no pants
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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