Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
third nipple confirmed
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
