Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
