i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
