I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
