playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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