Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
