Pappa wants mamma naked
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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