Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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