babies were throwing up all over the place
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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