we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
