dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
