wrigley field is MILF paradise
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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