Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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